The Seven of Swords and the Coffee Chat Con

How MLMs Hijacked My Networking Hopes

Season 3 of the Simpsons by Giphy.

My freelance business has been not doing great over the last year due to the changes regarding AI.

Last month, I took a vacation to Halifax, Nova Scotia and wow it is definitely beautiful there. However, I had a eureka moment about the adjustments I need to make to the business.

As soon as I returned, I relaunched my freelance business. And, I did it with a clear intention to connect, collaborate, and grow alongside other small business owners.

No fluff. No funnel traps. Just authentic conversations with other professionals who know what it’s like to build something from scratch.

So I joined Alignable, a platform that promised exactly that, which is local networking, genuine connections, and business camaraderie.

And for a moment, I felt hopeful. I set up my profile, started reaching out for coffee chats, and began connecting with fellow entrepreneurs.

But then came the bait-and-switch.

What I hoped would be shared insight and mutual encouragement turned into something else entirely! What were they? They were a parade of thinly veiled MLM pitches.

You know, the kind where someone smiles politely and pretends they care about your services, only to steer the conversation toward how amazing their "non-MLM wellness business" is, and wouldn’t I just love to learn more?

Boy I was infuriated and had to cut them off after. The best tarot card to describe this scenario is the Seven of Swords.

Enter the Seven of Swords

The Seven of Swords by Virgo Gem on Pixabay.

The Seven of Swords describes this situation in a nutshell.

At first glance, the card shows a figure sneaking away from a campsite, clutching five swords, while two more are left behind.

It’s a card of deception, hidden motives, and calculated moves. The person in the card isn’t playing fair.

They’re not coming in with honesty or integrity. Instead, they’re strategizing, taking what they want, and slipping away before they can be called out.

And that’s exactly what MLM recruiters do, right?

They show up in spaces meant for genuine connection, they smile, they flatter, and then they pivot.

Suddenly, they’re not there to support your business! They’re there to mine your time, energy, and contacts to benefit theirs.

My MLM Wake-Up Call (Again)

I’ve been around long enough to know the scent of an MLM pitch before it finishes its first sentence. Still, it shocked me how normalized this has become on platforms like Alignable.

In my first few weeks, I had at least five conversations where the same pattern repeated itself:

• They “loved my work.”

• They “admired my values.”

• They were “building something exciting” and “looking for open-minded people.”

• Then the truth crept in: They were with Melaleuca or some other rebranded MLM that insists it's “totally not an MLM anymore.”

Let’s get this straight - Melaleuca is still an MLM!!! Just because you call your pyramid a staircase doesn’t mean it isn’t still a pyramid.

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and sells overpriced vitamins while pushing mandatory autoship... it’s a duck.

And the most disturbing part? When I pointed this out, politely, even, they tried to gaslight me.

I was told I didn’t understand the business model, that it was just "referral marketing," and that I was being closed-minded. One even told me, “You’re the kind of person who could do really well in this if you gave it a chance.”

No thanks. I already had my MLM era in my 20s. I still cringe when I remember it.

Rant Incoming: MLMs Shouldn’t Be Legal

Let’s not sugarcoat this because MLMs are predatory by design. They thrive on manipulation, false promises, and economic desperation.

They target women, immigrants, stay-at-home parents, and financially struggling people with the false hope of freedom and flexible income!

Then what do they do? They bleed them dry with overpriced starter kits, monthly quotas, and toxic positivity.

They tell you you’re running your own business, but you have no real ownership. You’re selling someone else’s overpriced junk, under their rules, for a slice of a commission that’s statistically guaranteed to fail you.

According to the FTC, over 99% of MLM participants lose money. And that’s by design.

This isn't empowerment. It’s exploitation.

And what enrages me most is that these companies continue to operate legally. They’ve weaseled their way out of accountability through lobbying, rebranding, and technical loopholes.

Meanwhile, real small business owners, the ones building honest services or products, have to fight for every sale, every client, and every ounce of trust.

MLMs piggyback off that trust. They worm their way into spaces meant for real networking and dilute the integrity of those spaces. That’s why the Seven of Swords is the perfect card. It’s not just about deception—it’s about infiltration.

Lessons and Boundaries

After the fifth shady conversation, I started setting hard boundaries. My profile now says explicitly: “Not interested in MLMs or referral marketing ‘opportunities.’ Please don’t reach out if that’s your goal.”

I’ve also started doing more pre-screening before coffee chats. A few disappointing interactions won’t stop me from seeking the real connections I came for. However, I’m done being polite about pyramid schemes disguised as wellness businesses.

I’ll continue to network, but with discernment. I’ll collaborate, but with those who show up with honesty, transparency, and mutual respect—not a recruiting script and a fake compliment.

If You’ve Been There…

If you’ve ever felt duped, pressured, or love-bombed by an MLM pitch, I see you. You’re not naive. You’re not negative. You’re just someone who values truth over manipulation, and that’s something to be proud of.

Next time you pull the Seven of Swords, don’t just think of lies or betrayal. Think about where you need to watch your back, where you might be trusting too quickly, and where people are using charm to mask exploitation.

Because networking should build something, not drain something.

And to the MLM recruiters still lurking in Alignable coffee chats: Please stop pretending you’re here to connect. We see the swords in your hands, even if you try to hide them behind a friendly smile.